My Last Petal

Journal: New Age Begin [March 2, 2007 ]

It be 2 years i had falling my love for her, But till i had not express my feelings yet
It not easy than i thought…
At first i had a courage, then i had nothing like it seen to disappear out of thin air
I can’t even dare to talk to her face to face, afraid that i make a wrong move
I always felt that i am losing my mind and kept thinking that
"she’s ways out of my league"
I tried to be someone else but nothing seen to change, like this is who I really am… ( a geek, a nerd, a loser)
sometimes i stared myself in the mirror and started became insane about this fucking Feelings
I wished that if i just took it out and bury it or burns it better before i get more hurt and kept suffering like this…
Sometime i hate myself for being like this….
Everytime i looked at her beautiful dazzling eyes, I felt coldest through my vein and blood around my body started ran quickly through my body…and then i began to lost through the blank…
I finally reaslised that if i kept going like this, i will lose my mind and hope to the burning rage of flames, burns me up till its left me wit nothing left
So……………….I kept going with my life by stopping thinking abt it/her.
Eventually then, I found out She had found someone else…..
Since then I felt empty from inside……
I thought I gives her time to think abt it……I wished i could tell her sooner how i REALLY feel inside…. but it seemed was too late…..
One day after a few weeks later, i was introduced by the words "EMO"…. I learn wat does its means and i finally understand its.
It feels like I and emo had a lot of connection together..
I Tried to one of them to feels, learn how its really like
till i really became a fully EMO
EM0/BR

posted by MarcusLazarus The Last @ 7:18 AM